Last week’s column was about change. I want to continue with that theme today.
April 9th, I turned seventy. Have you ever noticed how the older you become, the more the terminology regarding your birthday changes? Infants are celebrated by months. People will say, “The baby is six months old today.” On your first Birthday, you begin to be celebrated in years. “She’s one year old today.” But on your second Birthday, you are labeled, “That child of mine is in the Terrible Twos!” Then you become a “Tweenager,” followed by a “Teenager, and before long, there’s a “Sweet Sixteen” celebration. Then you become “Twenty-one,” and legally an adult. And it’s downhill from there. By the time you reach your seventieth Birthday, they say you “Turned” seventy. You know, kinda like the expiration date on a carton of milk.
Seventy sneaked up on me! I don’t know how it happened. In my mind’s eye, I’m still thirty-five. However, I can’t figure out how, at thirty-five, I have been married for almost fifty-one years. Amazing! My mind says, “You’re thirty-five,” while my body says, “What in the world were you thinking?” And I guess that assumes I was thinking. Trust me, that’s not always the case. And with that thought in mind, it leads me to the perfect segue into what I want to talk to you about. Keep reading …
When you “turn” seventy, you will discover two things. First, you will find that you do some really unsmart stuff. Secondly, you will realize that you are surrounded by people doing less-smart things than you. And hey, they think it’s normal. Let me give you some personal evidence of what I am talking about. Approximately two months ago, Marianne and I went to Home Depot in Newnan, Georgia, and bought an 8’ x 10’ area rug for our bedroom. I picked it up, threw it on my shoulder, and made my way to the checkout register and paid for it. As I started to pick it up and tote it to my car, the sweet little cashier asked me, “Do I need to call somebody to come and take that to your car for you?” I threw that thing on my right shoulder, took my left fist and began to beat on my chest as I told her, “Oh no, honey, I’m He man!” And I turned and took it to my car. No problem … until the next day when my right elbow and shoulder were hurting – and they are still hurting! About two weeks ago, I told Marianne, “I’ve had enough of this, I’m going to make an appointment with the Bone Doctor and get this taken care of. When I called, my call was routed to a centralized appointment-making center in Timbuktu. The lady on the phone had zero personality! She asked me all the boilerplate questions regarding my age, etc. When we finally got down to business, she asked, “What do you want to see the doctor about?” I replied, “I hurt my elbow and shoulder on my right arm.” She asked, “Which one hurts worse?” I replied, “Excuse me!” She continued, “One has to hurt worse than the other. So, which one is it?” I said, “Well, I guess my elbow hurts worse, but I really don’t know. And besides, why are you asking me this?” She replied, “Your elbow and shoulder are two different body parts, and I can only make an appointment for one body part at a time. If you want me to, I will make an appointment for your elbow, but you’ll have to make another one for your shoulder.” I exclaimed, “You’re kidding me!” She said, "No, sir, I’m not.” And I told her, “Have a nice day!” Oooooh! That upset me!
I “turned” seventy. I have witnessed and experienced a lot of change in my time. Some of it has been good! Why, at seventy years of age, I have just about finished installing an audio/video studio and will soon be producing all sorts of Christian material. That’s a good change. But then, there are the “two body parts” moments like I described above. Wow! And we wonder why America is in the shape it is in today!
Yeah, seventy sneaked up on me. A lot of change! I’m just glad the Bible says in Malachi 3:6, “For I am the LORD, I change not…” and in Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”
Brother Aaron